Again, scared

Waking up, I don't feel right. I don't use to feel like lookin forward each day. I just feel so... negative. Like I'm afraid to go through the day. 

I do not know why, all the nasty words said by others just kept repeating in my head. Bad incidents kept playing. I just don't feel ...right. 

I can't put on a sincere smile, why am I feeling so ...ugh. 

I don't feel that I am deserving enough to be anyone else's or even to be living happily right now.