I don't feel that I actually have you? I am actually pissed with myself as I am always forcing myself to be happy. Honestly, I'm always feeling like a 'paper girl?' (Well, if you watch Paper Towns, you should know what it means - Paper Town: making a map of a fake town and illegally put it on the map? Something like that?)
Okay well moving on, as days passed by, I feel that I'm losing you. Everytime we want to go out, it is never the both of us. If it is, we will end the day by meeting someone else? We are always going out when there is someone else, like your bestfriend. Um? Okay, I'm used to it, so totally fine with it (I just had to rant this, keeping it too long)
Slowly, I ain't fine with it. It has been so long we are out like together, both of us. I see you put in effort to ask, but due to unseen circumstances, you can't make it? Okay, as I said above, I'm used to it, so totally fine with it.
But when you're going out with friends, despite the circumstances, you are actually out of your house? Um, so what are you trying to make me think now?
Well, don't put in any effort, because I rarely seen them and also if I do put in a little effort, there's always something will come into our ways.
Im so pissed, sad, and everything else is in me. I just can't keep it anymore. I should not rely on you for my happiness, for the joy in my days. Never. I should just don't expect too much. (Oops, I didn't because little did I know there is actually something to expect from you.)
:-)
I don't get it, really, what do you actually mean that you love me? Really?
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