Trust issues

I am surrounded by people that I can't really trust now - even people like Amirul.

I am having trust issues with people around me. I feel like keeping everything to myself despite me blogging it (lol).

It is true when they say there is no such things as friends or best friends when you're in Polytechnic. Everyone to you just seem like just a 'schoolmate/coursemate.' They are just there for you to work with you during presentations and projects.

Honestly, I really thought I have the best people I can trust in my course. People that are sincere and always honest with their opinion.

I just want to curse all the vulgarities I can.

I am always trying to make things the way my 'friends' wanted. Make them happy, ensure that all things goes their way.

What did I go wrong to deserve all this? - disrespect, not real smiles and laughter

But I got to stop it, man. It is ruining myself.

Fuck, I used to be selfish and when I'm not, I just ruined myself.

As Semester 2 is ending, I really wish everyone shows their fucking true colours to me. I don't want to face this again once I am in Year 2.

All I want is to just focus in my studies and myself once I'm done settling all this shit.

I gave up. I tried bringing back things that were great in Semester 1 but it seemed that things can never get the way it was, right?

It's like trying to get the wrinkles away from a crumpled paper.

I think I care too much. I care too much that I can't let go of them. I care too much that when I'm hurt, I hurt them too.

On a side note, I finally don't go crazy over Amirul already.

This is really distracting me from my important school work. Got to go..bye.