Happy New Year! Alright, I gave a little change to my blog theme (um just had to since NEW YEAR NEW ME lol.)
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| "My Man" |
There is going to be two parts to this post. I'm blessed to have great companies, great friends and a great lover but...
Here's the thing, read my previous post? I've mentioned about Eswaran (Esh) before and I did mention about losing friends.
I do not want to say that I've lost Esh entirely but at the same time, I feel that things between us aren't the same as before. Is it because I have him? (Honestly, I think it is not because of him). Ok, now that's another new story that you haven't heard.
Let me share with you about him.
Hans. HANS? Hahaha, I've written about him before in the previous post and now I'm mentioning about him again? Guess what, it's been two months since we dated/together/in a relationship...(ok honestly I'm not really sure but I know we're both in love). Surprisingly huh? I started my polytechnic years, crushing him, eye-candying him and going crazy over his cute smile and looks. Then things change, we hated each other so much and we even fought. And look at us now. We're hugging and kissing. In school, he can't keep his hands off my ...alright too much information. I am honestly blessed to have someone that is so special. And I feel that I can give my all without any second thoughts. I think I can say that I am the luckiest girl now?
But then.. *ok why is there a but?*
Ever since I am with him, Esh has been different lately. Fuck, I do not ever want to say that. Like what I mean, "ever since I am with him."
E. You said we're bestfriends. I really appreciate that. I was happy to have you around. But then why did you have to push me away? Why must you change the things we had? You should know that I know my priorities, and you were the first one that made me feel stronger - you made me grew a little from the super duper cranky Lina to Lina that rarely cries. You made me realised that I actually can do things...like a lot of things. But now, you just had to leave me alone? Is that how you define...bestfriends? Or maybe.. it's just you labelling us. Well, I admit I miss us. But, nevermind, maybe you're better off with someone that can spend their after school with you. Someone that can accompany you for late supper at Aliff. Someone that can accompany you to (finally) shoot.
I am always trying my best to not think so much. I really love my man. I really love Hans. But the best friend is still our main priority, right?
Today marks your 19th birthday. She actually posted something on her Instagram and wished you. And...when I wished you (like 2 hours before LOL), you were actually surprised I remembered your birthday. Haha, I doubt you even know mine. (Ok that's not the point) Maybe for you - you win some, you lose some.
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On the other note, best friends stay no matter how hard life gets, right?. I still have Syiida and the other girls. Maybe I should not even have a best friend of an opposite gender - and now this reminds me of what my mother always told me, "A boy and a girl can never be best friends." Maybe, after all, she is right. Mum is always right. That is why I have been falling behind. That is why I have been crying unnecessarily. I have been on the wrong track. I have lost a lot of guy best friend since I was Secondary 4. Nah, not going to name it.
So I think, I should really move on. Focus what is right and what is necessary. Focus on what that makes me happy. :-)
You know what actually make me happy? I can... easily mention to my parents that I am out with Hans. Hehehe, and maybe who knows I can easily ask for permission from my parents for him to marry me? (Ok readers, just pray that my relationship with him will go far.)
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The first week of Jan 2017 just flew so quickly and there is so many things I've thought about. I just hope that I can conquer it with positivity and nicely. And I'll end it here. :-)
Till next time!
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