Back then, when I had Hafiz, I felt like I was the Queen. He would show me off, he would send and fetch me to school. He would do anything, I swear. Regardless of how many heartbreaks I'd faced, I would feel like a Queen at the end of the day. I got all the attention I want maybe also it is because it was a "teenage love.". Plus his phone was never important. (lol)
(goodness, I don't feel like going to school tomorrow..)
Now, I have this habit that I'm better off alone if I know that I would not get the attention. I mean people don't notice me when I'm with them.. except when I'm at the gym or the fitness corner. Oh my goodness, when I am at the gym, I feel that I can get the attention that I want super duper easily. People will come up to me and say "Hey, you need a spotter?" or "Hey! What's your name?" or even better... "You are one small strong girl." Do you know how happy when I receive this comments in the gym? That is why I don't mind going to the gym alone.
Ok, whatever you've read might sound like I am one spoilt bitch. But that is not the point here... I just want to remind myself that.., "I'm better off alone." No one can truly make you happy.
Now, I have this habit that I'm better off alone if I know that I would not get the attention. I mean people don't notice me when I'm with them.. except when I'm at the gym or the fitness corner. Oh my goodness, when I am at the gym, I feel that I can get the attention that I want super duper easily. People will come up to me and say "Hey, you need a spotter?" or "Hey! What's your name?" or even better... "You are one small strong girl." Do you know how happy when I receive this comments in the gym? That is why I don't mind going to the gym alone.
Ok, whatever you've read might sound like I am one spoilt bitch. But that is not the point here... I just want to remind myself that.., "I'm better off alone." No one can truly make you happy.
but.. I love Hans so much. So what is the matter now?
I just need to spend time with him. and only him. For goodness sake, he is liked by everyone. It is inevitable for him to go a day without spending time on his phone because he is always connecting. He is cared by everyone. But the only thing I want from him... is just his time. His time that only consist just talking to me in the eyes without any other distractions e.g. his phone on silent, mobile data turned off,...when was the last time I got that? (Hey don't get it wrong, I know he love me too.. but he is just another busy person)
Maybe is the way I was treated back then. I was the queen. But I cannot always be the Queen to everyone right?
All I need is to understand. Understand and understand. Give in and give in. Make sure others is happy... it will eventually make yourself happy too.
Goodness! I feel super duper emotional now that I just want to sleep through my Friday.
Alright, the start of 2017 hasn't been great. It is okay, I can get through this.. it is just "13/365" days. There will be so many other days.
And also, I should go to the gym more often to receive my self-worth.
I just need to spend time with him. and only him. For goodness sake, he is liked by everyone. It is inevitable for him to go a day without spending time on his phone because he is always connecting. He is cared by everyone. But the only thing I want from him... is just his time. His time that only consist just talking to me in the eyes without any other distractions e.g. his phone on silent, mobile data turned off,...when was the last time I got that? (Hey don't get it wrong, I know he love me too.. but he is just another busy person)
Maybe is the way I was treated back then. I was the queen. But I cannot always be the Queen to everyone right?
All I need is to understand. Understand and understand. Give in and give in. Make sure others is happy... it will eventually make yourself happy too.
Goodness! I feel super duper emotional now that I just want to sleep through my Friday.
Alright, the start of 2017 hasn't been great. It is okay, I can get through this.. it is just "13/365" days. There will be so many other days.
And also, I should go to the gym more often to receive my self-worth.
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